I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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