I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
