dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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