So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There r osticjed everywhere
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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