No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
