if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
