i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
