I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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