i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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