is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
