I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize