she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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