how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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