It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
