I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
