found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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