just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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