hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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