So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize