Someone shit on the floor
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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