Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
