1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
