I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
