The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
