what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
