walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
