Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
