What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
