Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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