problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
