so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
