your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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