I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
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Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize