operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
