I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
