I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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