dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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