Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
