Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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