But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
