so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
