I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
