11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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