I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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