Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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