I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
