We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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