i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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