Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
