is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
