What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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