summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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