I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
