For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
