This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
