I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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