I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
