girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize