My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
