Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize