u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
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Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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