Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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