Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
