need another drink. this is the easiest way
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
