I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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